Tag Archive: poetry


The Only Way Out

What did I do to people for them to look at me this way?

It’s 2018 and people still victimize me to this day

They look at me with disgust and as different

Even my own mother looks at me like this

 

You see, I am woman but was once a man

I always knew I was Catwoman and not Batman

But even I was frightened by the thought of this

And once I said it out loud, it terrified everyone else

 

The first person I told was my mother

She was not happy, she got angry and yelled slur

I was kicked out of my home and shunned

When we crossed paths, not a word would be said

 

I get stared at, pointed at and laughed at

What is it? Is there something on me? Is it a rat?

Parents see me, grab their children and walk faster

I wish they would not judge me, I am actually friendly

 

My mother also gets taunted for having a daughter like me

Or should I say “son”? Since that is what I’m supposed to be

She can’t handle all the humiliation and decides to hang

I killed my mother because of who I truly am

 

I have lost a lot of family and friends

Hopefully someday we can all make amends

But for now, I am all on my own

And once they all find out, they all go running

 

I have finally completed the process of transition

For many, though, I look like a failed mutation

Monster, tranny, he-she, and he

Are things I get called almost every day

 

I am human––NO I am a woman

But I am not sure anymore if I can handle this oppression

People are just not accustomed to people like me

However, even the small words hurt

 

Life would just be better if I would just disappear

Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here

I am an outcast, I am weird because of who I truly am

And now I am ashamed of that, I am ashamed of myself

 

“Ew you nasty tranny, go use the men’s restroom”

Someone in the women’s restroom says, I began to fume

No words come out so I run out, tears running down my cheeks

Why are people so mean and so rude? Words hurt

 

“I can’t do this anymore,” I say to myself over and over

I run to my car and speed home in my Range Rover

Knocking down everything that is in my way, I run to my room

And I open the drawer to my nightstand, there it is

 

Who knew that I would cause so many problems?

I didn’t think it would get to this point, wish this didn’t have to be the outcome

There it was staring back at me, it is the only way out

I know this will make all my troubles go away

 

I grab the cold heavy metal object up to my skull

To everyone who has been cruel, this is for you, hope you are cheerful

All of this pain and suffering because of who I truly am

Hopefully this time my mother welcomes me with open arms.  Continue reading

Acceptance

                             Acceptance

Eyes wide open in an unfamiliar, dingy room

They watch over me murmuring whispers.

I can’t quite understand; something’s wrong I presume.

The chilled air runs down my spine, sending shivers.

 

They called me son, the apple of their eye

Yet they left me there and waved goodbye.

Days….

            Weeks….

                            Months….

                                              I died inside.

Time passed, I lie there.

Lost within my surroundings,

My thoughts, my feelings, unlike any other.

Where is my place? Who am I?

 

Wanting the love from those who want nothing to do with me

Why can’t they accept me as I am.

All I want is to be cared for,

I’ve learned from my past, and

I’m sorry….

I didn’t ask for this.

 

I’ve realized, this is it for me,

It doesn’t get any better.

All I have is me, and that’s all I need.

 

But still,

I do not wish this nightmare upon anyone else

Unaccepted, unloved, uncared-for…

-Alexuz Bejarano

Review: I decided to write a poem, kind of reflecting on the creature being abandoned. I felt it was one of the most emotional parts in the novel, only because the creature was vulnerable. When the creature was created he didn’t know any other feeling than loneliness, being abandoned by the only person he knew. I wanted to also incorporate the 2015 film, Frankenstein, directed by Bernard Rose. I started off the poem reflecting the beginning of the film as it started off with “Adam” in a room that looked much like a hospital room. Confused to where he was, as the creature in Mary Shelley’s novel when he first left Victor’s lair. This poem is in the creature’s perspective, he continues to explain the abandonment he felt, instead of the things he experienced like in the novel from pages 92-128. In the film Victor and Elizabeth portrayed mother and father figures to “Adam” and abandoned him, killing him even more  on the inside because even if he didn’t know what it felt like, he loved them and hated them at the same time. Modern time or not, it’s all the same. People till this day aren’t accepted because they’re different, because they don’t fit the criteria of normal. No one is normal. This poem is what the creature is feeling in the twenty-first century, which is the same as he’s feeling in the novel and in the film, empty and lonely. Still begging for the love and care he won’t get, feeling sorry for others because he was created. Accepting his past and In the end comes to an agreement with himself that he won’t accepted, and the only person he has is himself. At  the moment that’s enough for the creature, until then he’ll keep searching for his happiness, and doesn’t wish this for anyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An Unaccepting World

Composition

In a world abundant of people, I find myself alone
In a world where acceptance is a friendly interaction away, I find myself as an outcast

I was hopeful once
I was an optimist
Living a lonely life, but in anticipation of a future with companionship

My days were spent watching others through the shadows
My nights were spent in contemplation of how I was to gain the approval I desired

I quickly learned the ways of those I yearned to be like
Their manner of speaking
Their manner of acting
Their manner of being

Excitement filled my veins with every new piece of knowledge I acquired
Soon I would be accepted
Soon I would be acknowledged
Soon I would be “normal”

The day finally came
The day I emerged out of the shadows, ready to take on the world

A friend was all that I wanted
A friend was all that I needed
A friend was what I could have gotten
Perhaps in a different world this dream of mine could have become a reality
Perhaps I would have escaped my wretchedness and traded it for happiness

But a dream is all it was
They ran in horror at the very sight of me
They shouted insolent words that shattered my spirit
They rejected the improved version of myself I worked arduously to become

And there I was
Left to fend for my own in a world of people who abhorred me
Left with nothing but my melancholy
Left completely abandoned once again

Nothing had changed
Nothing at all

 

Review

Dear Reader,

       Loneliness, I believe, is something we all experience once or twice in our lifetime. It is also a very obviously seen theme in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. I chose to write a free verse poem of which mirrored the sense of isolation the Creature in Shelley’s novel felt because I feel it is something everyone can relate to no matter what time period you are living in. Following the Creatures abandonment on behalf of Victor, it finds the DeLacey family; these humans of which it spends months watching and learning from in hopes to one day be accepted by them. We all know that this hope ends in utter chaos and rejection. My poem, “An Unaccepting World”, is a different approach to telling the Creatures pessimistic emotions due to its constant loneliness. In the same way, its purpose is to relate with a more recent audience and their similar feelings when living life in a world where acceptance is something everyone desires yet can be very difficult to gain. Personally, when reading Frankenstein, the aspect of which I related to the most was the Creatures sense of isolation. In a world full of people, it is very easy to feel alone just as the Creature did. Many times, we spend our time and effort trying to learn the correct way to be “normal” but in all reality, it will never enough. The difference between my piece and Shelley’s original novel is that my poem is a shorter version of the Creature’s efforts and hopes to be integrated into humanity. Another difference is the fact that I do not mention the Creature or anything relating to the novel anywhere within my piece, although the resemblance is quite obviously there. My reasoning behind this being that I feel it helps my poems audience relate to it on a more personal level rather than relating it solely on what it is originally based on, Mary Shelley’s novel. In addition to the poem, I have also included a drawing of what I envision my piece to depict. The two swings, one empty and the other with a girl, represent feeling lonely. The fact that the girl is swinging alone above the Earth portrays isolation from the rest of humanity. I sincerely hope that my interpretation of a widely seen theme within Frankenstein serves the purpose I intend.

With all my gratitude,

Juanita Espinoza

Dear Dr. Frankenstein, I wrote

I know this must be strange as we have never spoke.

It’s hard enough to write such a harrowing email

But I feel as if you must know the tragedies of my tale

 

I pause.

Above me, the thumping of tiny feet scatter across.

I sit on the floor of the musty, old basement.

The kids keep running, I’m waiting and patient.

 

I can only write in complete silence.

Or else my thoughts begin to riot.

I wait for quiet to instill.

Perhaps that’s why the orphanage lady calls me mentally ill.

 

It is cold where I am at, I continue.

So I hope this will only take me an hour, maybe two.

I am writing to you from a basement, you see.

I would do so upstairs but the orphanage lady is rather mean.

 

I’ve been here for as long as I can remember.

From infant to child, now a teenager.

Seventeen and a half years old, I am almost out.

Because at eighteen I will be thrown into a world I know nothing about.

 

Patrons come through hoping to adopt a child they could hold.

They spare me a glance, but opt for the three year old.

Sometimes they pity and consider me, until

The orphanage lady tells them I’m mentally ill.

 

There is a window next to where I sit.

A family of four, I can see from it.

A father, a mother, a daughter, a son.

No words have been exchanged between me and them, but still I love them a ton.

 

I’ve watched for years, their actions and words.

Filling me with a kindness and gratitude I wish to confer.

From them I learned sympathy of the greatest form.

As their gestures and hearts are ever so warm.

 

The father, of benevolence and young age, is smitten with the residents of his home.

Speaking to them in gentle and kind tones.

The mother, she is of a different skin color than her partner.

Which of some odd merit, makes them love her harder.

 

The daughter, of compassion and grace that she inhabits from her mom,

Is as gentle as the skin that lines my palm.

Her brother, the son, is different like me.

Blind is the word, a catalyst for his admirable curiosity.

 

I know I sound crazy, of course I must.

But Dr. Frankenstein, you have to understand, I’ve got no one to trust.

You see, beyond the walls of this horrid orphanage, I know nothing but judgement.

Which is why I find peace in the cold of this basement.

 

I awoke one day searching for an answer as to why I am of such difference.

I found your name in the drawer of the rusty orphanage kitchen.

I came to find that you were the doctor present during the time of my birth.

Which is why I suspect you have answers to the questions that emerge.

 

Please meet me in the place with all the trees.

I would choose a location more public, but I do not want to be seen.

People will hide and shudder, they will.

Because, as I’ve mentioned before, the orphanage lady tells them I’m mentally ill.

 

With the dearest of hearts, I will conclude this email

As you now know the tragedies of my tale.

I hope, Dr. Frankenstein, that you have the decency to amuse the questions my mind fosters

With much love, I will sign off with a name they all call me. Sincerely, Monster.

To the Publisher:

In this modern take of Frankenstein, the creature’s tale is told in the form of a poem. The contents within this poem mimic the moment in which the creature relays his tale to Victor Frankenstein. In the book, he orally relates his story, however in this modern interpretation, he does so through email. In the poem he is a member of the orphanage, isolated and lonely the way he is in the book. The orphanage lady mentioned in the poem is a representation of society in the book as they both see him as different or in the orphanage lady’s terms “mentally ill.” Those coming in to adopt often pity or ignore him, another characteristic of the society Mary Shelley creates. The cottagers make an appearance in the poem this time portrayed as a modern family of four. He watches them from the window of the basement where he spends all of his time. Felix and Safie are portrayed as a mother and father of two children, the daughter, patient and kind like Agatha and the young son blind yet happy like the old man. Just like the cottagers in the book, he learns of sympathy and compassion from the family in this poem as he is not taught by other residents of the orphanage. His attachment to the basement represents the idea that he finds acceptance, or rather isn’t meet with judgement, when he is alone. He reaches out to Frankenstein, just as he does in the book. The reason as to why remains the same as the creature searches for answers from the person who was there during his “creation” or “birth”. Victor Frankenstein being his creator in the book receives a nod from the poem as he finds that Frankenstein is the doctor in charge during the time of his birth. The last major tie between this poem and the book is the fact that in both, the creature does not have a name, symbolism for the fact that he is seen as someone less human despite the fact that he harbors emotions stronger than any of the other characters.

– Kaylin Insyarath

The brutality in existing

My head is pounding,

My arms are shaking.

My chest is drenched in sweat

 

I run as fast as I can with no destination in mind

I want to scream but the words won’t come out.

I feel my vocal cords flexing so hard they are almost ripping apart.

 

I can feel the stares of people down the street

Like a sword penetrating my soul

I’m just as confused as they are when we make eye contact

Where am I?

How did I get here?

 

My head is overflowing with questions

I have no memory of my past life

How did I come to be?

Do I have a family?

 

I look for a place of solitary  

I found the comfort I seeked in the isolation of an alleyway

I chose to make this my temporary home given that it seemed untouched by human desires

It seemed fitting I live between the abandoned spaces separating neighboring lifestyles of what I aspired to one day be part of

As I lay, sleep overtakes my being and I enter a new state of dream

 

Eventually, I wake up to the sun shining bright in my face

My stomach begins to growl

I succumb to this primitive desire

As I walk around searching for something to eat

I see groups of people laughing and smiling

I feel so alone

 

I look from afar into their windows

I see families sitting around the dinner table

They seem so happy

Why don’t I have a home?

 

The hum of technology seems to haunt my existence

The sound of the cars and the busy streets overwhelm me

After a few days of dumpster diving and observing the family in the blue window

I gain the courage to knock on their door and join them for dinner

A young lady with black hair opens the door

I look up and take off my hood and she screams

She is horrified, its as if she has seen a ghost

Her father then joins her and threatens to call the police

he tells the rest of their children to stay inside

I feel so embarrassed I have nowhere to go but to my alleyway

I don’t understand why no one wants to be my friend

If I was destined to live so miserably, then why was I created in the first place?

 
Review:

For my creative writing piece, I wrote a poem about the creature’s feelings when he was first exposed to the real world. I reconstructed the scene in which he interacts with the De Lacy family for the first time. The creature experiences rejection and hate from the beginning of the novel. I tried to channel these emotions throughout the poem. Although the creature has felt nothing but alienation, he learns from his surroundings that these feeling are not a way of life for humans. Through the stanzas, I hoped to convey the drastic change of emotions the creature was feeling. The creature gave a unique outside perspective to this poem as he looked into our society. In the novel, we see the creatures thought process develop as the story progresses and I chose to reflect this in the poem through the length of the stanzas expanding as the creature becomes more and more self-aware. We see the creatures world collide with ours as he experiences technology for the first time. Given that it is new to him, he sees it more as a nuisance than a life dependency. An important part of the novel is the creatures desire to have a family, I kept this in the poem because it is a big part in what he is driven by. Instead of the forest, in my poem, I decided to make an alleyway a crucial part in the creature’s development. I chose this because I felt as if alleyways were the perfect place for the creature to get an insight as to what our society is like but still be distant enough to not be noticed. Living between the houses of people he wants to be like seemed fitting for the creature since alleyways are often seen as abandoned places in which one should steer clear of. Alleyways are infamous for being dangerous and are often forgotten about. Overall I feel as if my poem gives a modern take as to what the creature would go through if he lived in our time period.

 

A Rise of Action From Nothing

Image result for proletariat frankenstein

Christopher Martinez

In “The ‘Workshop of Filthy Creation’: A Marxist Reading of Frankenstein,” Warden Montag argues that the creature is “not so much the sign of the proletariat as of its unrepresentability.” With all respect to Warden, I would disagree with his statement because Frankenstein does represent the proletariat as a whole. Montag states that “if the modern (proletariat) were allowed to appear, the monster would no longer be a monster, no longer be alone, but part of a ‘Race of Devils” (480). His statement might be true, but the monster serves as the journey and voice of every proletariat as a whole.

I decided to focus on Chapter 20 (pg 145-146). During this part of the book, the monster confronts Victor about his new mate. Victor destroys all the work he has done just to punish the monster. The monsters madness can be shown through the quote, “Slave, I have reasoned with you, but you have proved yourself unworthy of my condescension. Remember that you I have power, you believe yourself miserable, but I can make you so wretched that the light of day will be hateful to you. You are my creator, but I am your master – obey!” (146) Symbolism and tension can also be depicted in this quote because the monster (proletariat) mentions that Victor (the bourgeoisie) is his slave likewise, lower classes in society can overthrow the rich through an action. This gives me a feeling of letting go of chains. Ambiguity is also shown considering we have to decide what the action to change is. The reason I am saying this is because as a proletariat myself reading this book can give me different ideas towards action against aristocratic ideals. Thus, being annoyed and angry at being exploited lead up to the moment where the proletariat stands up for themselves. To add on, Mary Shelley uses a voice that makes me interpret that she threatening the bourgeoisie. Words like ‘I’ are used a lot in this section of the book. Such as in the quote, “I will watch with the wiliness of a snake, that I may sting with its venom. Man, you shall repent of the injuries you inflict” (146). I get that horrific mood when reading this. In other words, I interpret that Mary Shelley is threatening the rich just like the monster is doing against Victor.

Throughout the whole section, there is a motif of rage. Victor made the monster reach up to his tipping point. As a consequence, Victor has to face an inevitable horror at some point. I don’t feel as if anything is missing because clearly the monster represents every single proletariat – unlike what Montag thinks. To make this more clear, throughout the book we see the growth of the monster (such as through education). Once the monster has the knowledge of the mind to act between right and wrong, we see the confrontation. Similarly, as I mentioned before, this can all relate to any low-income student because through knowledge and anticipation we can act upon our own people: the proletariat.

Husband and Wife: Spousal Influence

All the great couples in media have had some sort of influence on one another. So just like when Beyoncé sings hooks on Jay Z songs, or John Lennon letting Yoko Ono ruin The Beatles, Mary Shelley borrows heavily from, and is greatly influenced by, her husband Percy Shelley. (Hooray for relevant cultural commentary!)

So when we see Victor Frankenstein ‘borrowing’ quite heavily from Percy Shelley’s poems, it’s certainly no surprise. Mary Shelley uses both “Mont Blanc” and “On Mutability” to shape the setting and direction of a few specific passages during Frankensteins’s time in the Alps.

Frankenstein tells of his ascent and experience in the valley Chamounix, beneath Mont Blanc, in almost identical terms to Percy Shelley’s poems. It wouldn’t be a stretch to argue that those few pages are almost a re-writing of Mont Blanc in prose form. Percy Shelley describes the awe-inducing power of nature by offering a grand description of the mountain and its surroundings. Similarly, Frankenstein echoes these sentiments in saying things like, “The sight of the awful and majestic in nature had indeed always the effect on solemnising my mind, and causing me to forget the passing cares of life.” (91) This is quite similar to the last eight lines of the fourth stanza in “Mont Blanc”, where Percy Shelley likens the solemnity of the mountain to the simplicity of human thought, and how in the face of such magnificent nature, the worries of man seem to fade away.

Additionally, similar terms are used in describing the scenery of the valley in both “Mont Blanc” and the passages from 89-92. Words like awful (meaning awe-inspiring), majestic, tranquil, solemn, serene, and other terms that induce feelings of sublimity are found in throughout. Also of note is how both passages make use of describing the sound of the river, and the grand sense of vastness that noise produces.

Finally, at the top of 92, Frankenstein recites the last stanza of Percy Shelley’s “On Mutability”. This is ostensibly done to further emphasize the point both are trying to make about human insignificance in the face of grand nature. Shelley argues, and Frankenstein supports, the view that the only lasting forces that exist are the forces of nature, and we as humans must base our thoughts relative to nature around is. Subsequently, human thought, experience, and emotion are ever changing in reference to our surrounding nature, but nonetheless tied to that experience of nature.